


It's All Fun And Games Until

by impossiblesongs



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:57:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2602664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossiblesongs/pseuds/impossiblesongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to River’s Tardis Wikia page, she once taunted Zygons by saying “What's up, suckers?” It happens again... the Doctor overreacts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Fun And Games Until

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Not my characters. This has been a disclaimer.  
>  **AN:** Because someone brought the absolute gem that is [River’s Tardis Wikia page](http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/River_Song) to my attention again and so this happened.

“What’s up, suckers?!” her husband shouted, angrily pushing buttons and whatnot. “Really, River?! _Suckers_?! Again?! I thought we went through this!”

 

River surveyed her fingernails, finding his upset quite unnecessary.

 

“What were you thinking?” he demanded, head poking out from the other side of the console to glare at her.

 

River sighs, “I was thinking we’d have a laugh while we ran, but no. Obviously that’s too outrageous an outcome for a little joke.”

 

The Doctor sputtered on the spot. His voice was near thunderous when he replied, “You insulted a species!”

 

“And you’re the only one who can do that.” River replied evenly, her brow raised ever so strategically. “Sorry. Forgot that bit.”

 

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but once her words sunk in he found himself turning red with the realization of being caught-on. His mouth shut with a snap and his chest puffed slightly.

 

He pointed a finger at his wife, “You… that is _not_ the point!”

 

River then watched him return to piloting the Tardis, choosing to fume to himself as he hovered over the console. His shoulders grew increasingly tense beneath his tweed jacket and he was muttering beneath his breath about her to his ship, unintelligible rambles really.

 

The Child of the Tardis bit her bottom lip to stop the grin wanting to spread on her face. He could be so prehistorically daft sometimes it could almost be considered adorable. Almost.

 

River removed her boots while he brooded and slowly tip-toed her way to her husband from behind. He stiffened once he perceived her near but did not move when she reached her hands out to dip beneath the tweed. She encircled her arms around him and rested both her palms on his chest, one over each heart.

 

Her chin propped over his shoulder, she could only see his profile from this angle. His jaw was tight and though his eyes were downcast she could see it, the agony she could perceive at glance almost like another sense.

 

“What’s this really about?” River asked him gently, feeling his heartbeats quicken beneath her touch.

 

The Doctor sighed, shutting his eyes and sinking back against his wife’s body. He’s glad in a way that he’s not facing her entirely. He can hide away when he’s not looking at her, but then again, not looking at her is worse.

 

He turns around and pulls her in for a hug, hiding his face away in the crook of her neck instantly and breathing her in.

 

“If you must be angry with me,” River tells him, “you can tattle on me to my dear old mum.”

 

His eyes fill with tears.

 

“Spoilers, Professor.” He says, words mostly muffled against her skin, and contents himself with having her in his arms.

 

“My toes are getting cold.” River mutters against his ear.

 

He pulls back and glances down, a smile appearing on his face at the sight. Her bare feet on his console floor.

 

“You have beautiful toes, dear.” He compliments.

 

She wiggles them for added effect and he laughs.

 

“Go on,” he says, raising her hand to his lips and kissing her palm, “go to bed. I’ll be there in a minute.”

 

“Promise?” River’s eyes twinkle as they look at him.

 

He has to marvel at the River that has come across his path at this point in time, remembering the wife that had left him not long ago after Manhattan happened. This River is old enough to call herself a Professor, but young enough to still have her parents with her.

 

He nods and promises. “Cross my hearts.”

 

She smiles. “See you soon then, husband.”

 

“Count on it, wife.”


End file.
